Anytime you have a new boyfriend, you'll obviously have less time for your old activities (C'mon, 7AM spin class versus snuggling in bed with a cutie?). But, sometimes, the changes you make aren't so benign, and a core part of your personality atrophies.

Many women unconsciously lose their best selves in the throes of falling in love, and that can doom the bond. "You feel unfulfilled because you're not being yourself, and it's a burden for a guy to feel like he's the center of your life," says therapist Martha Baldwin Beveridge, author of Loving Your Partner Without Losing Your Self.

Could You Be Lost?

There are trademark signs of a girl who's gone missing within: She only makes plans with a plus-one, she minimizes the traits she doesn't think her man digs, she always answers questions with "Well, we think...," and she watches/reads/listens to stuff her guy is into, but he doesn't reciprocate. These habits are harder to spot in yourself, so solicit help from a loving, honest friend. "Ask what she thinks of your relationship and if there are facets of you she's not seeing anymore," suggests psychotherapist John Amodeo, PhD, author of The Authentic Heart. Also, if you avoid telling a guy about certain hobbies or friends, you're likely suppressing something. Another sign you're stifling your identity: You think the relationship has saved you from a blahsville life. "You should be excited about new love, but thinking he's perfect and throwing yourself into it with no real foundation is unrealistic," says Amodeo.

Why It Happens

Getting too wrapped up in a dude is common. "Women get satisfaction from nurturing the relationship itself," says Beveridge. So you engage in activities (military-history lectures!) and behaviors (skipping your weekly dinner with the girls or feigning excitement over basketball) that aren't typically you because you're genuinely buzzed about spending time with him. The challenge is learning to pick plans where you both like the activity, not just the company.

Bring Yourself Back

You've heard it before, but cultivating your own interests makes you incredibly alluring. "Women overestimate the importance of saying yes," says Beveridge. Guys value independence, so say no thanks to an invite from him that you'd never accept from a pal, and while he may be surprised at first, he'll also be psyched that you don't need to be attached at the hip 24/7. Next, think back through your pre-boyfriend days, and reprioritize the most satisfying parts (invite him along if he's curious). Over time, abandoning experiences that seem frivolous (say, going dancing if you love being the center of attention) chips away at your quality of life. "When you dive into your interests, you'll be happier, which makes you a better girlfriend overall," says Amodeo.

Bosses That We Hate

The Egomaniac: No matter who does the work, this boss takes all the credit! He doesn't support, coach, nurture or grow his employees. It's all about him, and your career path is terminal if you work for him. True leaders know that they need other people to help manifest their dreams-and they acknowledge other people's efforts freely.

The Liar, Cheat, or Thief: This boss just wants to get whatever he can out of the company while offering as little as possible. He milks the company dry if he can (think Enron and Worldcom). One client's boss (a manager at a major retailer) even taught all of his employees to get as much as they could out of "they system" by damaging goods so they couldn't be sold, and taking the goods home. A leader without values is no leader at all. With the advent of financial disasters such as Enron and Worldcom, values have become more important than ever.

The Terminal Lifer: Going to work can be hard enough without having to work for a terminal lifer, a boss who just wants to make it to retirement (or to the end of the day!). These types of bosses have no vision and don't inspire any of their employees. A leader's job is to inspire his people with a dream that makes a real difference in the world.

The Flake: This boss has so many other things going that he can't focus on the business at hand. Whether its romance, other business deals, or personal issues, this boss is so low in the commitment department that he drives employee turnover sky high! One client's boss was so engrossed in the dating scene that she took all the revenue out of the business to go gambling in Las Vegas with her new boyfriend. The result? She bounced everyone's paychecks! Leaders need to be more committed to the organization's vision than anyone else. They need to become a shining example of the sort of commitment they expect from their people.

The Fearful Boss: This boss is so afraid of making mistakes that he's afraid of anything but the status quo-and "change" is a bad word. He might listen to your ideas, but if they're too radical, he'll be sure to squash them so he doesn't make a mistake. One of the most important things a leader does is remove the stigma of mistakes. He knows that bold action sometimes leads to mistakes, and is willing to take calculated risks.

The Fire Fighter: This boss runs around the office putting out fires but never gets anything done. The list of hot new ideas you put on his desk a month ago is buried under paperwork from all the latest crises. This boss thrives on action and excitement, but doesn't make much actual headway toward any goals. One of the most important roles in leadership is that of the visionary. The leader has to be able to see goals that are far into the future, and lead their people to those goals.

The Angry or Moody Boss: This boss stomps around in a fit of rage or slumped in deep moodiness all the time. You can't tell whether he's mad at you, or just hung up on some personal issue. Anything can set him off, so you're afraid to approach him with any news-good or bad. The greatest leaders in the world have peace of mind because they are satisfied with the contribution they are making to their company, the world, and their own lives.

5 Action Steps to Get Around Your Boss

Get another boss either by transferring within your own company or finding a different job altogether.

Cultivate a relationship with your boss' boss. This gives you an extra channel for any new, innovative ideas you might have. Be subtle, though, since this can be a tricky process.

Sign up for extra-curricular tasks within the company that will put you in contact with bosses from other departments.

If you've got innovative ideas that your boss won't listen to, look for some other channel, perhaps outside your department, where you can implement your ideas. Or, suggest a partnership with another department.

Learn what you can where you are. If you can learn something about leadership and management (even if it's what not to do) where you are now, get all the experience you can while cultivating a new position for yourself elsewhere. Sometimes this kind of on-the-job training can give you the experience you need to move up in your career.